a family Christmas

feeling stressed about Christmas? take 5 and read this heart warming tale from a single dad and his two adopted children

Christmas is an interesting time for families. To some it is magical, exciting and mystical. To me, growing up, I just remember the anticipation, the butterflies in the stomach, the sheer, simple excitement. Christmas now is different, I am a parent, I have the magic, I have the sense of fun, and I have the laughter. I also have the fear, the frustration and the anger. Our family is no different to anyone else’s, except I am a single Dad and have adopted two children.

We are now entering our fifth year since we became a family. We have come a long way. When the children first arrived, they were pure chaos; they would not settle for hours, they would literally run around the walls, screaming at the top of their voices. They would have a mixture of fear and anger in their eyes, they looked lost. My world was turned upside down. My bachelor pad became a mess, constantly messy. Life went from being predictable and routine, to a tornado and for ever chasing after the next crisis.

So now? They have calmed, they no longer look lost. They have grown, physically and emotionally. They still have anger, but who wouldn’t after what they have been through? They look forward to Christmas, they feel the magic, but they also feel the deep rooted fear and anger at those who have let them down in the past.

So that is my job. To help build that trust, that security and allow them to love and feel loved. It is at times a lonely job, and some nights I have to brush myself down, and think tomorrow is another day. We start each day afresh; we have ended each and EVERY day with a hug and a kiss. Last Christmas Day, having opened their presents,  the three of us sat around the kitchen table, eating warm croissants. I asked “Did you get what you wanted for Christmas?” Butter dribbling down his chin, the eldest replied, “Yes, I got a family Christmas”

For information about adoption please visit www.baaf.org.uk

The British Association for Adoption & Fostering (BAAF) is the UK's leading adoption & fostering charity.  We exist to support the nearly 90,000 children in care across the UK as well as everyone who cares for or works with these vulnerable children and young people. Our work covers the full spectrum of adoption and fostering: we campaign for children’s rights; help to find families for children needing adoption and permanent fostering; and provide advice, training and support for everyone involved with adoption and fostering.

Every year an estimated 4,000 children in care need to be adopted across the UK. Some never find a family. BAAF helps to find families for over 500 children in care a year.  Our annual National Adoption Week campaign raises awareness and encourages more families to consider whether adoption could be right for them. The majority of children who wait longer for adoption are older, disabled or part of a sibling group that needs to be placed together - they need special families to care for them. If you would like to find out more about adoption, please visit www.nationaladoptionweek.org.uk


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    We value your opinion. Here are some of our readers thoughts on this item.

    • Tony Elliott
    • Monday 19 December 2011 8:55 AM
    • What an absolutely fabulous soul.

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